30.9.06
la'7bata..!
ana msh 3arfa howa fe eh?! all people surrounding me are acting wierd.. tab3an mafesh 7aga esmaha all people acting wierd hatla3 ana el wierd fel a'7er! sometimes i do feel that i don know wat i want out of life.. hal ana 3ayza ab2a designer msh mohem b2a graphic designer wla interior designer ahy 7aga ana interested feha w '7alas.. tab aslan da loh 3elaqa be 5 years spent men 3omry -elly allaho a3lam fe kam 5- studying architecture! tab ana aslan anfa3 ab2a architect 7atta?! wla ana 3ayza ab2a writer -famous One!- cause lots and lots of times feel like i wanna translate emotions into words, i wanna write & write 2 demonstrate all the rage, sadness, joy, astonishment, lOve & hatred inside me! tab aslan ana mashya fe etgah sa7? balash ana motasare3a?! sure iam.. i think that's one main problem in my life..balash teftekry ya nafsy en rabena rady 3anny?! tab w de a3rafha meneen? i think once en ana ab2a radya 3an nafsy ha3raf en rabena rady 3anny.. wla eh?! lama kol el nas teb2a bet2oly eh da enty leh keda enty leh mashya keda wana moqtane3a enny kowysa w mabsoota..lama yoserro 3la e3ta2y gor3et e7bat '3er 3adeya.. homma msh asdhom akeed they want the best 4 me.. bas who can judge wat's the best 4 me but Me?! emta a7ott el ma3ayer elly moqtane3a beha welly terdy rabena w ansa el donia b3d keda? emta yeb2a 3ndy theqa f nafsy? i don trust myself at all! i have 2 admit so.. i bitterly admit so! i wasn't that character before.. but ever since i got shaken i can't find myself.. i lost it! may b people think am a kind person may b thoughtful too but why do i feel they never think am person who can take decisions or have a far thinking mind? leh ana nafsy feel i can't take decisions easily.. leh ba3d ma ba defend my point so strongly beny w been nafsy ba7ess enny lessa ba3mel evaluation w a3eed tafkeer men gedeed? am so exhautsed i feel my mind doesn't stop spinning even when am sleep.. evaluations calculations analysis are accompanying each action.. am i getting old? i mean is that when u know u r getting mature? ana begad 7assa en fe 7aga kebeera missing men 7ayaty.. akeed el 7aga de leha 3laqa b rabena sob7anaho wa ta3ala.. asl el mawdo3 msh tabe3y w akeed akbar b kteer men ay 7aga ana marret beha! nefsy a7ess enny leya lazma mofeeda fel 7ayah! bas '7alas ..
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6 comments:
okay, so the best thing is "survival"
walk the path u chose for now -architecture- meanwhile, try to develop those things u want...
as for me, um always tryin to convince myself that wat i want is wat i've got
btw: being an architect was one of my dreams, i ended up a civil engineer instead "lessa ya3ny, bas ba7awel"
Do what your heart tells you to do, and never care for the people's opinion if you are sure that you are right, these people will not care about you if you lose, they only care why someone's win, as if it is weird for someone to be a good person. Something like a relection of their own sense of being losers.
Don't give up without a fight like Pink Floyd said.
el sede3':
u have no choice but survival bas sa3at el wa7ed wishes 4 more!
am on the path yet i yearn 2 change it or 2 b precise 2 develop it.. el civil wel architect welad 3am ana a2ol bardo e7na motafeqeen leh :)
irc president:
don't give up wizout a fight..
yea i won't isA but the question is fight against who?!
am afraid i'll turn 2 find myself fighting my otherself!
yeah welad 3am, ya 2emma kont hanta7er...ALLAh yesame7hom, homma elly 7'ada3oony we 2alooly 7'osh handasa...
sa7ee7 enty fenon walla handaza bardo???
habdaza :(
bas ana lel asaf ma7adesh '7ada3ny bel 3aks nasa7ony ad'7ol tegara
wana elly '7adt el qarar!
ALLAH yesame7ny :)
ya3eeny 3aleeky,
besmELLAH masha2ALLAh
handasa leeh bas???
seebek enty, 3emara 3andena zay el3asal :S
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